I went for a walk today and it was fabulous! What a gorgeous day. And let me tell you, the exercise is much needed. This is probably in the vein of TMI, but whatever, I have gained about 15 pounds since I started my job. That’s more than a pound a month!! How’s that for office ass?! I’m not okay with this. Not by a long shot. I actually noticed somewhere around January that this was the trend, and while I wanted to do something about it then, midwinter just isn’t the time for me to start something new. I’m crabby in the winter, and the kids are so busy with activities that getting to the gym after work is just incredibly inconveniencing to my husband who has to pick them up and was horribly sick ALL winter long. So now that that’s OVER with, I’m working on turning over a new leaf. Pretty soon the walking trails at work will be thawed out and I’ll be able to walk on my breaks. And we’ll be back to our evening bike rides down to the schools where there’s a track, playground and basketball hoops which are perfect for a little pre- or post-dinner activity. Spring/Summer, here we come!!
Meantime, I’m also struggling from serious writing related issues. Actually, that’s not accurate. I’m struggling with not-writing issues. Being a creative type kinda sucks when you have to be anal-retentive from 8-5. It doesn’t leave enough hours in the day to transition from one side of yourself to the other. I’m so out of balance! For a long time, I was trying to write on my breaks, but I’m just not consistently making the kind of progress I want to be making, and I often close my laptop up feeling frustrated that break was too short and very unsatisfying. For some, creating itself is a joy, but for me, progress is also key to my enjoyment. I’m sure I’ll continue to write on breaks when the ideas are flowing, but I think I’m going to stop forcing it. Besides, we already established that I need to get my butt OUT of my chair more often during the week. If I’m consistently moving, I can be losing that pound a month instead of gaining it. That would be sweet.
But that still leaves the problem of not having enough writing time. I definitely need to make time, particularly when I’m hearing bits and pieces so clearly in my head that my friends think I’m going schizo, but time is problematic. I’ve tried setting aside an hour in the morning (not a morning person, btw, that didn’t work so good because I kept hitting snooze.) I’ve also tried setting aside an hour or two after the kids go to bed but I can’t write on the couch with hubby watching television next to me, so I just end up websurfing – I can’t wait for my office to be back up and running to try this again, but the truth is, I fear I’m just not the kind of writer who can force myself to be productive or to develop an idea because the clock says it’s time to create. I can rewrite that way, as long as the changes are minor, but anything big requires a visit from the muse. And my little muse is like a dear old friend who doesn’t keep good track of time. When she shows up on my doorstep, I need to drop everything and make time for her. When I do, we work together like magic.
Meantime, I’m also feeling kind of beaten down by the process of writing. The sheer amount of time it takes me to “finish” a novel is overwhelming (I’m a book a year girl), and while I can appreciate the thrill of completing a marathon, I miss that feeling of success in the in between time. So I’ve realized how important it is to have other creative projects in the wings. Smaller projects you can begin and complete in less time. A friend at work has recently taken up beading. She’s making beautiful jewelry and the creative process is so obviously exciting for her that I’m envious! I used to bead myself, and like knitting, it’s kind of a zenlike process that you can do in front of the tv amidst total chaos in your life and come out with this delicate little piece of heaven. I’m not going to stop writing or anything, especially when I feel like my wip has the potential to make it, but I realized I need this – something small to take the edge off the need to create when the writing muse isn’t visiting.
